Paternity Tests and Engagements

So how 'bout my best friend from high school is engaged?! Congratulations Dan! (He doesn't go on AIM, so he won't read this anyways.) On the phone tonight, I said, "Kinda strange, huh? You're getting married and I have three children." I don't mean to judge God, but I'm just sort of wondering how I'm going to meet someone now that I'm involved with foster care. I do NOT want to stop what I'm doing ... I really feel that it's a calling in my life. But now I don't just have to find someone who loves me, but quite possibly someone who will also love the kids. I go back and forth on this one ... mostly, I think if he DOESN'T like what I'm doing in foster care (or the children in my home), we wouldn't have ended up together anyways ... he wouldn't be the type of guy I wanted. But then sometimes I wonder if I could've managed meeting someone had I done something differently after graduating from college. Good thing God's in charge, even when I doubt my own decision-making. :) "Mom" and "Dad" didn't show up to the court hearing last week and the judge ordered paternity testing for the little girl. If "Dad" is in fact a dad, he'll probably keep fighting, although won't gain custody immediately. If he isn't the father, then I wouldn't be surprised if he left. Can you imagine me waiting by the phone waiting to hear THAT verdict? Life seems a little too stressful for me right now. On the good side, Nina slept in her cradle tonight for about a half hour. She's crying, so I'm going to go move her to her swing. Later.